Happy marriage advice tips - part one
Happy After Marriage?
The end of happy love in a relationship is the beginning of a failed marriage. These words sound so desperate that they can dry up the dreams of every woman who dreams of hearing Mendelssohn as she walks down the aisle in a fabulous white dress.
For some reason life is full of sad examples of failed marriages that started out with so much love. Older, more experienced, women say that men change once they’re married because they got their catch in the bag. Some women fall in love again despite a string of failed marriages behind them, but crucially they refuse to marry again because of the risk of it all going wrong yet again. It is as if wedding rings have some mystical power to turn romantic love into a sour existence.
Leaving aside old wives tales and jokes about angry wives and bored husbands, let's consider why the joint lives of two people can change over time and why for some the ideal of "until death do you part" is only a romantic delusion.
For some reason life is full of sad examples of failed marriages that started out with so much love. Older, more experienced, women say that men change once they’re married because they got their catch in the bag. Some women fall in love again despite a string of failed marriages behind them, but crucially they refuse to marry again because of the risk of it all going wrong yet again. It is as if wedding rings have some mystical power to turn romantic love into a sour existence.
Leaving aside old wives tales and jokes about angry wives and bored husbands, let's consider why the joint lives of two people can change over time and why for some the ideal of "until death do you part" is only a romantic delusion.
Coexistence. It is a mistake to get married first and only then begin to live together. This tradition might have been correct for our grandparents but it will not work for a modern couple. It is better to know the smallest details about your spouse - to know their habits, whims, lifestyle, etc. If you really cannot accept your partner’s scrunched-up unwashed face first thing in the morning then maybe he or she is not the right life partner for you.
You may not have the complete “setting up a home” lifestyle until after you are married, but at least a few months living together beforehand will help to identify any misunderstandings and potential adjustments.
You may not have the complete “setting up a home” lifestyle until after you are married, but at least a few months living together beforehand will help to identify any misunderstandings and potential adjustments.
Routine. Sooner or later we all get sick and tired of the boredom and routine of everyday life. You know what we mean: get up, get ready for work, rush hour commute to work, work, work, work, rush hour commute back home, tidy the house, iron some clothes for the morning, eat supper on a tray, got to bed exhausted, wake up, repeat every day. Sometimes there might be only a split second in the morning when you can open your eyes and actually feel good in your life. When you or your spouse falls into that negative way of seeing your situation, it is possible that a relationship crisis is coming around the corner to jump out and surprise you.
You must get used to the idea that there is no way your entire married life will be one long romantic fairy tale. There will be crises to overcome and times for compromise. You can prevent those inevitable daily routines from crushing the life out of you. You do that by creating variety and beautiful moments that keep your relationship alive and healthy.
You must get used to the idea that there is no way your entire married life will be one long romantic fairy tale. There will be crises to overcome and times for compromise. You can prevent those inevitable daily routines from crushing the life out of you. You do that by creating variety and beautiful moments that keep your relationship alive and healthy.
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